Wednesday, January 1, 2014

2014: A year of adventure with the Lord

I have decided that 2014 will be the year that I fully surrender to God. This year I will go on a journey of saying yes to God. I will start giving it all to him and fully walk in obedience. I will surrender. Completely. And I will learn to love like Jesus.

I am going to take a leap of faith and go outside of my comfort zone. I have a hard time talking in groups of people that I don't know well. Not just a few people but larger groups of people. I am afraid of being judged. Of sounding stupid. Of making a fool of myself. But I feel the call to minister to women through bible studies, church events, etc. How am I going to do that when I have this fear? I'm going to pray about it and I'm going to give it to God. I'm going to trust that he will give me the words and the courage. And I am going to trust that he will give the other women I am talking to kind and open hearts. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6.

John 13:34-35 says "A new command I give to you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples. If you love one another."
It is easy most of the time to show love to my family and my friends. But what about everybody else? Am I showing love to the checker at the grocery store? How about the next person in line at the post office? The teachers at the kid's school? The kids in their classes? Also going a step further am I showing love to my kids all the time? Even when they do something they know is wrong? If I am completely honest the answer is no. Not always. Sometimes I do but do I ALWAYS go that route? No. So in this year of adventure I am going to spend time in the word, learning to love like Jesus. I am going to pray that the Lord will help me to show love and kindness to others. And that people will be able to see him through me. That they will know I am a disciple of God by the love I give.

My friend Erin sent me a text last night asking me if I would be her accountability partner. So we can help each other grow spiritually. Pray for each other, with each other and encourage each other. And hold each other accountable. How awesome is that? Someone to talk through my struggles with that I know is not judging me but loving me. I can't wait.

I feel in the last week and a half that the Lord has eased my pain. He has heard my cry. He has shown me that I can hear his voice and answer his call. And that I can make a difference. It's not too late to teach my children and myself. And it's never to late to grow in my faith and grow my kids faith. This year I will do that.

"For I know the plans I have for you." declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13

Friday, December 20, 2013

My heart hurts

My heart hurts today. Today the kids had their Christmas parties at school that both Steve and I attended. We took Will with us (dressed as the cutest elf ever). We helped do crafts, make treats, and just basked in the magic of the holiday season with young children. Our kids are never short on love, praise, food, clothes, shelter, anything really. And many of their friends aren't either. The reason I am rambling about this is to get to the real reason that my heart hurts.

As I was leaving with Jordan one of the kids in his class came up to him as he was walking out the door and told him "Merry Christmas Jordan!!" And my child's response??? "Ok". I was devasted. Now this doesn't seem like a huge deal- I mean he is 7, the other kid didn't even hear what he said so Jordan's teacher and I both said "Oh he said Merry Christmas". So why does this hurt me? Because this particular child needs love. He needs a friend. He needs people to care and to listen and to be nice. This child was being a friend to Jordan and he wanted Jordan to show that he cared. And all Jordan said was "ok". I am failing.

I am failing because I want my children to be a friend to the kids that don't have many friends. I want them to care for those less fortunate than themselves. I want them to see a hurting heart and want to make a difference in that person's life. How do I teach them that? How to I teach them to love like Jesus? The only answer I can think of? I need to demonstrate this in my life. I thought I was but I am obviously not doing a good enough job.

Lately I have felt like I am not answering God's call on my life. Now a large part of that is that I can't figure out exactly what that call is. Maybe I'm not listening. Maybe I'm just not getting it. But tonight I have prayed over and over "please Jesus help me to hear your call, help me to listen, help me to know what to do with this beautiful, blessed life that you have given me". And I have been praying for the little boy in Jordan's class. That he will feel God's love and peace. I have literally been on my knees crying (and if you know me- my claim to fame is that I don't cry. Pretty much ever). But I am crying out tonight.

And so tonight I am making a vow. I am vowing to spend more time in prayer. I am vowing to spend more time in God's word. And I am vowing that I will listen and seek until I hear God's calling. Is it starting a women's ministry? Is it starting a ministry to the poor? I am vowing that after I hear God's calling I will continue to listen and seek him. I will take this crazy, beautiful, blessed beyond belief life that he has given me and I will use it to glorify him. 100% glorify him. And I will teach my children to do the same.

So please pray for me. Pray for my heart to be open. And pray for all the little boys and girls that need a little extra love.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Jordan's Kawasaki Disease

In October of 2011 at the age of 5 my son Jordan came down with a fever that wouldn't go away. After 5 days and numerous visits to the doctor and tests he was diagnosed with Kawasaki Disease. Only 19 out of 100,00 children are diagnosed with it. There is little known about the cause of Kawasaki Disease so it can be harder to diagnose.
This was probably the hardest, scariest time of my life. I recently went back and read through things I had written down about what was going on with Jordan and it brought tears to my eyes. First the not knowing what was wrong with him. Then once we knew what it was the possibility of heart, brain and liver damage and series of tests were heartbreaking. My little man was so strong throughout all of it. We are still dealing with the after effects but hopefully he is mostly in the clear. Unfortunately there is not much known about the long term effects so we will continue to monitor him and meet any challenges that may arise.
The 3rd annual Kawasaki Awareness Day is coming up on January 26th so because of that I wanted to share the story of our journey with Kawasaki Disease.

+ Oct. 21, 2011: Jordan goes to school, has a field trip and we leave for a weekend at a cabin with friends. Shortly after arriving at the cabin Jordan throws up and starts to run a fever.

+ Oct. 22-23, 2011: Jordan continues to run a high fever and will not eat anything. He lays around and naps a lot.

+ Oct. 23, 2011: I take Jordan to Urgent Care since his fever is ranging between 103-104. The lowest I can get it with ibuprofen and Tylenol is 100.9. At Urgent Care they take chest xrays and swab his throat. The doctor concludes that he has bronchitis (he doesn't even have a cough) and sends us home. That evening I get him to drink some Powerade but he still refuses to eat.

+ Oct. 24, 2011: Jordan continues to have a high fever so I take him to our regular physician. They again can't find anything wrong with him and tell me that it is probably just a virus. He is still refusing to eat and barely drinks anything. That night his face started to turn red and swell.


+ Oct. 25, 2011: In addition to the other symptoms Jordan developed a slight rash on his back and pain in his legs. He no longer would walk anywhere he wanted me to carry him everywhere. Anyone that has ever been around a 5 year old boy (or any 5 year old for that matter) knows they rarely want to even be held by their mom's let alone carried. I distinctly remember telling my husband (who was working out of state at the time) that I was so frustrated because the doctors kept telling me there was nothing wrong with Jordan. I know my child and I knew something was wrong with him. This is my Facebook status from that day: I am so irritated with the doctor's that keep trying to tell me that nothing is wrong with Jordan... His fever is up to 103* the lowest I can get it is 100.9* and that's on Tylenol! I know my child and something is wrong... I just wish that they would figure it out soon...

+ Oct. 26, 2011: All of the symptoms continued so I took Jordan back to the doctor. This time they sent us for blood work. After they drew blood we were sent home to wait on the results. As soon as the results came in the doctor called and told me that they needed us to come back to the office right away. This is the first time I ever heard of Kawasaki Disease. I grabbed my phone charger and headed out the door. I had no idea what Kawasaki Disease was or how long we would be at the doctors, etc. I dropped Kate off at my mother in law's office and rushed Jordan to the doctor.
There they continued to run tests and finally confirmed that he had Kawasaki Disease and sent us across the street to the hospital to be admitted so they could treat Jordan with an IVIG treatment. The IVIG (intravenous immunoglobulin) is a treatment for Kawasaki patients that is required to try to prevent heart damage, requires the plasma of 1,000 blood donors. The treatment took 12 hours.
He finally ate for the first time in 5 days.

 
 
 
Jordan had to be hooked up to the IV all night and I stayed with him. This is my Facebook status from the next morning: UPDATE: It was a long night... From about 12-3 his heart rate dropped every 10-15 mins causing all the.alarms to go off. Around 4 his IV started coming out and it took them about half hour to get it fixed and strap his arm to a board... He finished the treatment around 6:15 and they drew more blood to test... We are waiting for them to come for the echo and some other tests on his heart this morning... I'm exhausted...
 
+ Oct. 27, 2011: Jordan had his first echo cardiogram that morning to check for heart damage. He still had symptoms throughout the day even after completing the IVIG treatment so they did a second echo cardiogram that evening. This is my Facebook status from that afternoon: UPDATE: Jordan is showing more inflammation/ Kawasaki disease in his bloodstream... They are having a specialist come in to do another echo around 5:30... We will stay another night and they will decide in the morning if they are going to do another treatment or not... He is in great spirits though!
And then: UPDATE: fever, redness, and swelling are back..

 

 
+ Oct. 28, 2011: Steve was able to fly home late the night before getting in at about 1 am on the 28th. 
That day Jordan had more blood work and we spent most of the day waiting to get results from his Echo. He was definitely feeling better at this point. This is my Facebook status from that day: Thank you everyone for your prayers, good thoughts and support... They drew blood again this morning to check the level of inflammation in his veins... We are still waiting to hear back on his echo and probably won't know anything until this afternoon... They are checking for heart damage and aneurysms...
We finally got to go home that evening around 6 but with strict instructions. We had to give him 4 aspirin every 6 hours around the clock. So we had to wake him up at midnight and 6 am as well as give it to him at noon and 6 pm. This would go on for the next 3 months. He also could absolutely not get the flu, a cold or chickenpox because of the aspirin treatment if he were to get those things he could get very, very sick. So he would be out of school for the next month and could only be around people that had their flu shot and had not been sick recently.


+ Oct. 31, 2011: We went back to the doctor to check in and get set up with a Pediatric Cardiologist in Portland that we would continue to follow up with. This is my Facebook status from that day:
Update on Jordan: We saw the doctor today. He is doing good we just have to be super careful. He can not get a cold or flu as he is too vulnerable so he will not be going back to school for awhile. He will continue to get blood work done once a week and echo's every few weeks. He will be on medication 4 times a day indefinitely... He also can't do much activity... If he were to start bleeding it would be hard to stop because he is on aspirin to thin his blood... Try telling a 5 year old boy he has to sit still and take it easy all the time... Thank you everyone for your prayers and support during this tough time...

+ Nov. 2, 2011: I took Jordan for his weekly blood work and once the results were in the doctor called and asked us to come in. I was definitely freaked out seeing as the last time I had gotten a call like that from the doctor Jordan was admitted to the hospital. We had been told that it was not uncommon for kids with Kawasaki to be readmitted to the hospital for a second round of IVIG. Luckily we didn't have to do that just continued to monitor him.

+ Nov. 8&9, 2011: Jordan went to Doernbecher's (the children's hospital that was about an hour from where we lived at the time) to have follow up echo cardiograms and appointment with the Pediatric Cardiologist. So far all news was good. He didn't have any heart damage but the results from blood work were still not back to normal. We continued with the aspirin therapy and made an appointment for another echo a few months later.

+ Near the end of November he finally got to go back to school after being out for 4 weeks.

+ Dec. 29, 2011: Finally Jordan's blood work came around so that he would no longer have to go for weekly blood draws! He was so excited about this!! He hated getting blood work but was such a trooper. Here is my Facebook status from that day:
Great news today! Jordan's bloodwork came back fantastic! He no longer has any inflammation in his veins... His white blood count is still a little high but nothing to worry about so as of now he doesn't have to get anymore bloodwork done... We will still continue to get echocardiogram's done and meet with the Pediatric Cardiologist. Hopefully during his next appointment towards the end of January they will reduce his meds from 4x a day to 2x a day. Thank you to everyone who has continued to pray for him and our family...
+ Jan. 19, 2012: We went back to Doernbecher's and got the best news! Jordan still had no heart damage. He could discontinue the aspirin therapy and would not have to have another echo for a whole year! This is my Facebook status from that day: Recieved great news at Doernbecher's today! So far Jordan still doesn't have any heart damage and everything is looking good. As of now we get to discontinue the aspirin therapy. I definitely will not miss waking up at midnight and 6 am to give him medicine. The next step is to keep an eye on his cholesterol and meet with a nutrionist to work out a heart healthy diet for him. I am feeling so blessed that after the last 3 months things are looking up! He continues to have joint pain in his legs and knees and some irritability issues... Hopefully with time these will decrease.. There is just so much unknown about Kawaski Disease that the long term effects are still unclear. Thank you everyone that has been praying for our family....
We had such amazing support from our family, friends and facebook friends during this time. So many people offering their prayers and help was something I will never forget. While we continue to live day by day and I panic anytime Jordan has a fever I thank God for getting us through that tough time. We keep Jordan on a heart healthy diet and he is very active in sports. The fact that longterm effects aren't really known does bother me. There is also the chance that he could die of a heart attack at a young age. But I don't let that stress me out. I know that God is in control and has a plan and I will thank him for each and every day that I have with each of my children.
 
Kawasaki Disease is most common in boys under the age of 5 but of course anyone can get it. The symptoms are as follows: : •persistent fever higher than 104°F (39°C) •severe redness in the eyes •a rash on the stomach, chest, and genitals •red, dry, cracked lips •swollen tongue with a white coating and big red bumps •sore, irritated throat •swollen palms of the hands and soles of the feet with a purple-red color •swollen lymph nodes •Joint pain •diarrhea, vomiting •vomiting •abdominal pain
Thank you for taking the time to read this and Happy January!! Remember January 26th is Kawasaki Disease Awarness Day! Please share the symptoms it could help save someone you love :o)


Monday, December 31, 2012

Noon Years Party

Every year I feel bad that the kids have to go to bed early and can't stay up to celebrate the new year. So this year we decided to throw a little party for them and their friends. We did it from 11am-1pm so that they could count down the new year at noon. So it was a "Noon Years" party.

Happy New Year Banner
Noise makers, confetti poppers


Noise maker craft table
 We had fun decorating and getting ready. We made a Happy New Year banner and noisemakers for the kids to decorate. We had snacks, played freeze dance and of course counted down the new year which was complete with confetti and lots of noise!!









The kids had a blast and I think it will have to become an annual party for us. Thanks for reading! Happy New Year!!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Snow Ice Cream

We woke up this morning to about 9 inches of snow. Nothing I thought would ever happen in Arkansas! The kids could not wait to go outside. We quickly got them bundled and sent them out back to play. Steve took Will out and started a fire for awhile. I decided that it would be fun to make snow ice cream.

I remember a few times when we were little when my mom would make us snow ice cream and it was always a fun treat. So I had Steve collect some snow for me and once the kids came back in Jordan helped make it.

Here is the recipe in case you want to try it:

+ 5 cups clean snow (unpacked)
+ 1 cup milk
+ 1/2 tsp. vanilla
+ 1/2 cup sugar

Gather your snow and put it in the freezer until you are ready for it. Make sure it is clean and unpacked.

Mix together the milk, vanilla and sugar. Stir until the sugar is dissolved. Slowly add the snow to your mixture stirring constantly until it is as thick as ice cream.






You may want to add a little more snow or put it in the freezer until it hardens up a little. We just ate ours right away and it was a little slushier than normal ice cream but still delicious!!



Thank you for reading. Happy Snow Day!!

Monday, December 24, 2012

Ashley Express

The other night we let the kids think they were going to bed. They put on the pajamas while we got ready for them to take a ride on the "Ashley Express". We had been talking about taking them to see Christmas lights and thought this would be a fun way. Once they had gotten their jammie's on I told them that I thought Buddy (our elf on a shelf) had brought them something. So they went to look. There they found tickets to the Ashley Express.


They quickly grabbed blankets and pillow pets to take with them. When we got out to the car Polar Express was playing on their DVD players and they had popcorn with m&m's in it and hot chocolate.



We drove up to a place we found online in Little Rock that had a mile of Christmas Lights. It was $5 per car to get in so a cheap, fun way to see lots of lights! We had fun figuring out the theme's of each set. Our favorite was one where an elf would climb up a ladder then drop down on to a teeter totter with another elf and the second elf would end up catapulting off of it.



After we left there we thought it would be fun to drive by the governor's mansion and the capitol building to see them ready for the holidays. The governor's mansion was a disappointment as it was not at all decorated. But there were quite a few other large houses that looked beautiful nearby. The capitol building though was the highlight for me. It was gorgeous. The whole thing was outlined in white lights and it said PEACE up near the top. We loved it.







By the end of our trip we had sleeping kids in the back. The next day they talked all about it. We all had a fun time and it was a magical little trip for the kiddos. I love seeing the holidays through their eyes.



I hope that you all have had your fair share of holiday magic this season. Thank you for reading. I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas filled with love, laughter and family!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Gingerbread Playdough

My kids love playing with play dough. Last year I made them gingerbread play dough and decided to make it again this year for Kate to put in the treat bags at school for her Christmas party. I spent yesterday making it and the kids LOVED playing with the extra. Kate came home from her Christmas party today and immediately started playing with hers again. The bonus is my house smells delicious from all the spices in it!
 
I thought I would share the recipe in case you would like to make it for any of the little people in your life :o)

Ingredients:

1 cup all purpose flour
1/2 cup salt
2 tsp. cream of tartar
1 Tbsp. ground cinnamon
2 tsp. ground ginger
1 tsp. ground nutmeg
1 tsp. ground cloves
2 Tbsp. vegetable oil
1 cup water

Instructions:

In a medium saucepan whisk together dry ingredients. Next mix in the water and oil, stir until a thick batter is formed. Cook the mixture over low/ medium heat until a thick dough forms. Turn out onto wax paper and knead until smooth. Makes about 2 cups of dough.









 For some reason I am unable to add captions to the pictures today so I will start at the top and go left to right.

1. I get all of the ingredients together beforehand because the cooking goes fast.
2. This is what it looks like when mixed and just starting to cook. It may get clumpy and that is ok.
3. The finished dough after a little kneading.
4. I put about a cup in small mason jars and attached a small cookie cutter and note from Kate.
5. Kate playing bakery.
6. Some of the "cookies" Kate was making. Don't they look real?

Thank you for reading. I hope your little ones enjoy this as much as mine. Happy Holidays!!

UPDATE: I made a couple of variations to this today.

Chocolate= Discard spices and instead use 2 Tbsp. unsweetened cocoa powder.
Peppermint= Discard all spices and add 2 tsp. peppermint extract at the same time that you add the oil and water.